You can jump, or you can stay in the plane, but “you can’t skydive part way¹.”  On May 2, 2025, at 9:05AM I jumped.

I resigned from my job.  After 11 years and 7 months, with wet eyes I uttered “It’s over” to our clinic office manager.

With this news, often peoples’ first response is a version of a shocked “Wow!”  The second is “Why?” The third is “What’s next?”  Today, I’ll address the first two.

First of all, this was not a “Wow!” kind of impulse decision.  Those who know me personally and professionally will tell you that I’m usually a person of few words.  I listen.  I read.  I think. I pray.  I analyze.  I plan.  And then… I speak and do.  Therefore, you should trust that this decision was made with the same, very thoughtful process.    

The “Why?” is obviously more complicated.  The short answer is that the current system of primary medical care in the US could be better. In my opinion, it should be better – better for both healthcare providers and patients. I doubt revealing the imperfection of healthcare is a surprise to anyone reading this.  You probably have your own frustration story to tell about providing, accessing, receiving, or financing care in the medical system.

But it’s our healthcare system after all, it didn’t just break over night, and it’s really not all bad.  I agree. There is so much good in the medical industry. The teams of doctors, PAs, nurses, therapists, pharmacists, social workers, dieticians, techs, and others I have worked with throughout my career are full of amazing people. They are the people I want taking care of me!

So, then, what’s the problem? Why go to such extremes? Let’s fix it.

Doctors are, by nature, problem solvers, so I went to work to fix it. For the past 11 years, as a primary care provider (i.e. “PCP”) I’ve focused on the parts of the healthcare system I could improve. 

I worked to improve Annual Wellness Visits because I believe in medicine that is proactive and preventive.  I also believe in quality and accountability, so I volunteered to lead programs aimed at improving those. And, I sought to first listen and understand my patients because believe in the importance of a patient-physician relationship built on transparency and mutual respect and trust.

I believed, and still do, that if enough of us work to make things better, in small and big ways, the system as a whole might begin to change.

Still, despite love for patients and passion for primary care, I began to feel the heat of burn out.  The friction of my personal values against the system’s values was painfully worsening.

My schedule filled with appointments with too little time. Notes from Urgent Cares piled up reminding me that I wasn’t available. Patients were rightfully upset about unexpected bills and high costs. Nights were spent charting in my pajamas or reading articles not just about the latest science, but also about the latest coding and reimbursement hacks. Lastly, the burden of the disparity in access to, and cost of, primary care because of the name on an insurance card, or lack thereof, became more and more difficult to accept.

Running on the treadmill of delivering primary care is exhausting. After years of running, the wonder of what could be better primary care turned into an undeniable burden for what should be better primary care. Better care for my patients, for my community, for my family, and for myself.

So, I jumped out of the proverbial plane.

… With a parachute, of course!

1. Quote attributed to Andy Stanley, author of “Visioneering”

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