We believe in God, and respect that some of you reading this don’t.

We believe in miracles, and know that some of you reading this don’t.

As much as I would love to say that we’re expecting the miracle that Jason’s tumor will inexplicably be gone when they go to do the biopsy on Tuesday, that’s not the miracle it feels like my heart is being prepared for. The timing and provision of the past 6 or 9 months show me that, instead, the miracle we are more likely to get may simply be a feeling of awe, peace and joy despite a situation that should be anything but awesome, peaceful or joyful.

The timing and provision so far is, in itself, a miracle. And, we probably don’t even know that half of it.

This post is going to get a little long, but let me tell you a few crazy ironic, maybe even miraculous, stories…

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Story #1 – My job.

As most of you know, I started working at a new clinic on July 2. I have been considering making a change for at least 5, maybe even 10, years. But in January of this year, my mind wouldn’t shake it. I KNEW in my heart that I needed to leave my current position. There was no doubt. I was emotionally and physically unhealthy there.

So what next?

Start my own DPC clinic? That was my dream, but I didn’t have the time or talents to start a business from scratch right now. That didn’t sound like a better option.

Join a different clinic? The grass isn’t always greener, so that didn’t feel right either.

Maybe leave medicine altogether? Still, I LOVE taking care of my patients.

Why was the pressure to leave so strong without having a clear next path forward?

Then, I thought to call Katie who had started her own DPC clinic a few years ago in Grand Island. Mind you, I had NEVER talked to Katie before that January phone call. After that talk, it was like a light in my heart was switched ‘on’. She had the joy, humanity, authenticity, transparency and flexibility in her work I was seeking. DPC was it.

What’s more, something felt urgent about needing to change. Katie is super great and all, but it didn’t really make sense to partner with her so suddenly. I hardly knew her. She hardly knew me. Still, it felt like I was on a plane crashing, and I needed to jump out. Jump now! Jump, Susan!

Even without most of the answers you would expect a rational person to have before ending a financially successful career, I resigned from my job. On paper, it made no sense. Even as I was doing it, it didn’t make logical sense. But, at the same time, it felt 100% right.

Trust Katie. Trust, Susan. What’s even stranger is that Jason trusted Katie before I did. He’s a horrible patient. He has never done what doctors tell him to do – even me, especially me. But, he did anything and everything Katie told him to do. Guys, he even did a sleep study! We are so grateful for her and Gary. For their knowledge. Their time. Their support. Their love. DPC, and specifically Vibrance, is a perfect fit for me professionally, for my family personally, and for my patients, too. No doubts.

Here’s the miraculous part. My last day at my previous job was July 1, my first day at Vibrance was July 2 – that’s the very same day Jason couldn’t get the key in the doorknob!

Irony?

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Story #2 – Coaching.

If you know Jason, you probably have known him as Coach. He is the best coach for young men I have ever seen. Biased? Sure. But just try to prove me wrong.

His favorite sports to coach are baseball and Walnut Middle School football. He loves Jesus, me, his kids, his family, and those teams. In that order.

His brain tumor story actually starts last fall, in the middle of football season.

He got pulled over after swerving onto the shoulder when he reached down to pick up his phone that had fallen off of the console while driving. He wasn’t drinking, but he failed the physical sobriety tests. He couldn’t walk in a straight line and his eyes were “acting funny.” Then he blew a zero on the breathalyzer, and they let him go. That could have been our sign that something was wrong, but instead it just became a funny story. (It still is funny, just have him tell it to you!) Part of me kicks myself for not examining him myself and for letting him play it off as just a rude cop, an old knee injury and weight gain. Still, if he had been scanned last September, his Walnut football coaching season likely would have been over, and he wouldn’t have been there for one of their best seasons!

Then, later in the winter, he had left-sided ear pain and mild hearing loss. I had him do all of the primary care stuff – Give it time to let a virus pass. Stop abusing Afrin. Take Claritin, Flonase, and Neti pots religiously for 2 weeks. If it doesn’t get better, then we’ll see ENT and get a CT scan. It didn’t get better. He went to ENT. But, ENT didn’t recommend a CT. I was a little surprised and a lot disappointed, because I knew his symptoms weren’t normal viral otitis, eustachian tube dysfunction, or labyrinthitis. Still, I’m not his doctor. I’m his wife. I let him follow the recommendations. We gave it more time. He kept taking the meds. He saw the Audiologist. He waited for the PT referral.

And, it happened to be just enough time for him to coach an entire baseball season. And, to beat three of his rivals and win a Majors championship on Father’s Day, no less! If ENT would have done that CT when I wanted them to, Jason’s baseball season would have likely been over before it started.

Some people may be angry that we didn’t find the tumor months ago, but I think it’s actually a miracle that we didn’t. Jason has been able to do what he loves doing most without the pathetic sympathy he would have hated receiving if people knew he was coaching with a brain tumor. Four days after the final baseball game, his left arm went numb.

Coincidence?

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Story #3 – Dr Courtney Venegas.

She’s humble enough to probably be embarrassed by this. And that’s how you know she’s a miracle and led by Jesus. Both of the neurosurgeons we’ve talked to told us, “She’s good. Really good. But don’t tell her we said that.”

8 years ago, Courtney was a premed student whom I knew from church in Grand Island. She wanted to shadow me in the clinic while she was trying to get into medical school. Of course, I said “Yes.” She was smart, kind, and a Nebraska native. It was a no-brainer that she’d get accepted into UNMC. Needless to say, I was shocked when she didn’t get in the first year. Although I didn’t see her application, it made no sense to me. Still, she didn’t quit; she kept shadowing and reapplied.

She got it the next year. Duh, UNMC!

She and I chatted infrequently through the next few years of her training. I thought she would make an excellent Family Medicine doctor and future partner at the clinic, but instead she loved Neurology – the study of the brain.

She completed residency and became a real-life Neurologist THIS summer.

Even more “coincidentally”, on July 1, she became a Neuro-ICU fellow at the Med Center putting her among the brilliant specialists who take care of people with complex brain and Neurologic issues. Less than a week later, on July 6, I messaged her about Jason’s symptoms asking for help. To say “she stepped up” is an understatement.

It’s amazing that she and I met, that her training took her into Neurology – intensive care neurology at that, and that her medical career was delayed just enough (sorry about that, Courtney!) to put her again in our path at just the right moment and in just the right position to make things happen when we needed things to happen.

Just right-time, right-place?

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Need more?….

• the day of Jason’s first MRI and diagnosis was the day my clinic schedule was completely empty
• the weekend we came to Omaha to start the tumor evaluation was the only weekend our Omaha Airbnb didn’t book all summer
• the blog I restarted just weeks ago as a way to process a “new transition” after not writing for years
• Xanax (if you know, you know)
• the nail polish color I picked this week – after buying it, I saw that the name is “Eternal Optimist”
• the photographer my cousin suggested to take some family photos before this treatment stuff starts when we got to Omaha just happened to be doing a shoot 1 block away from our Omaha house at the only time and day we had available before Jason’s appointment AND gifted us the entire session

Come on, y’all! Really just a series of coincidences? Miracles. Maybe not capital “M” miracles like a movie script, but I believe these are miracles nonetheless. We are confident there will be more – even if it isn’t a disappearing brain tumor. (But, God, that would be good, too!) Like I said before, this story is going to be pretty horrible, but pretty incredible all at the same time. Stay tuned.

And, if you don’t believe in God, I think He’ll change your mind. Just you wait.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” Isaiah 55:8